February 20th: Update

Yesterday a co-worker asked me, “So how’s that not weighing thing going?” so I figured it was time to check in.

The first thing I thought when she asked me this question was “well I haven’t been eating as clean as I’d like,” but I immediately caught myself “judging” my mentality around food as good or bad. I kicked myself in the mental ass and re-thought her question.
“It’s going good, I guess,” I responded. “I haven’t weighed myself and that was the goal.”

I also told my co-worker that I had just played mental gymnastics and had to tell myself not to judge myself for “eating too much sugar lately.” That’s what this year is all about. It’s about re-training the brain. It’s about seeing food as the noun that it is and not an adjective such as bad, good, clean, unclean, sugary, [insert your adjective here].

It’s about being present in my thinking around health and wellness and doing what is right in the moment for me and my body. It’s about self-care and self-love.

So, it’s February 20 and I still haven’t stepped on a scale this year. But more importantly, I can see small mental shifts that I hope will help me break free of the cyclical and sometimes punishing mentality I [and many others] have around food, health and wellness.

I also worked out yesterday not because I wanted to burn calories, or lose weight, or get muscles. I worked out because I craved an endorphin release after a very stressful day at work. I worked out for my brain. Again, it’s about mindset. I didn’t work out to punish myself for the chocolates I ate from the communal candy bowl at work. I worked out because I wanted my brain feel less frazzled. Win.